curly girls and whatnot

Hey curvy curlies! Can you believe we're in the 11th month of the year?! Crazy right? I love this time of year - holidays, friends and family, events and stuff.

In the vein of feel-good events, last Sunday, I had the pleasure of attending Afrolicious Hair Expo at the Los Angeles Convention Center. I LOVE being in the same room as my LA curlfriends! Shout out to Rhonda Ray for organizing an event that brought together some of the dopest jewelry designers, hair care lines and fashion in Cali. 

Too often I hear folks say Los Angeles is not rich in the natural hair movement. I beg to differ. Afrolicious is one of several events I've attended in Southern Cali, that provides education, hair care products and networking opportunities among curlfriends.

Check out some of the folks I ran into, below. 

xx

Lila

Natural hair blogger Mahagony Curls and Lila of CGNC

Mike Kimani of LRC Healthy Hair

Lydia Boyd of La Curly Girls and Lila, founder of CGNC.

the blessing of "no"

Perceived "rejection" is a hard pill to swallow. An unextended job offer, postponed meet ups with friends, unanswered solicitations...

Delayed gratification is challenging, however, "no" or "not right now" can be a tremendous blessing - to the giver AND receiver.

This is a lesson that will repeat itself throughout our tenure here on earth. What I have learned, is, the “no” whether malicious or not, is often for our own good. Moreover, we have to be prepared to be the deliverer of that dreaded two-letter word, from time to time. There is a lot of self-love in the word no.

This week has presented a few opportunities to think higher and believe the “no” is for my good. The hardest part in accepting the denied requests was the delivery of the answer. I had to literally take a few deep breaths and remember the more “no’s” I push through (funky delivery notwithstanding); the closer I am to “YES”!

Here’s what I know for sure, the Creator’s plans for me are to prosper me. His plans are to give me hope and a future. Harm is not included in His plans (Jeremiah 29:11). And even in the darkness of “no”, sitting in the discomfort, I reach out for the Creator even more (Psalm 119:71).

This week, I am reminded, denials from earthly resources are simply delays from the Source. 

xo

Lila

my superpower

My dreams are my superpower! When I dream, I'm as powerful, strong, vigorous and wise as my imagination. My potential is limitless!

Then I wake, throw on my cape, and make my dreams come true.

I hate halloween

Hi curvy curlies! I'm trusting that as you read this, you are walking in the abundance of a happy and authentic life.

I'm going to jump right into this post. I've never been able to comprehend why such a dark day is celebrated so massively.

One of the things I hate most about halloween, is the faux license stupid people think it gives them to express racism and celebrate all evil including, domestic violence. I just saw an online picture of a white couple, in blackface, dressed as Ray Rice and his wife, Janay. Oh, and the woman had a black eye. wth?! How is this remotely funny?

I have never understood the fascination with gruesome images; zombies, witches, ghouls, death and whatnot. But then again, I learned early on, we choose what our spirit feasts on. We can choose the good stuff like love, simple joys, the blessings of the Creator, OR, we can chew on the horrors of life and feed our spirit darkness. 

I choose the good. I choose life.

xo

Lila

the formula

dream big. pursue. rest well. repeat.

purpose driven

Hi curvy curlies! I pray you are facing the new week with anticipation, energy and hope!

Over the last several days, I've had a few conversations about self-talk, external messages and purpose. Good or bad, these 3 things contribute to how we walk this life thing out.

I believe external messages (media, family and friends, etc.) start our self-talk narratives. Often, the dialogue is less than flattering; I'm too fat, I can't do it like she did, I wish, but ...

Stop it!! If you think it, so it is. Rebuke self esteem crushing media. Listen, those little girls walking the runway are sucking on cotton balls. Child please! We have to break out of the European standard of beauty. And this message goes beyond aesthetics, but as women, we are being punched in the face by these images constantly. Take caution what you let in.

Change your self-talk. Encourage yourself. All of us have a God-inspired/ordained purpose! Tap into it! We insult the Creator by living below our potential. God has created ALL of us to do a special and unique thing in the universe, and check this out, it isn't all about Your pleasure, or Your happiness, or Your wealth.  What do you do to serve your community? How does your life edify others? What legacy will you leave behind? I am determined to be more than a tunnel visioned woman, living in a box of 9-5. I want EVERY good thing God has for me and I am convinced those blessings are unlocked in My Purpose, USA. I am pursuing purpose and intentional joy, won't you join me?

xo

Lila

life lessons vol. II

Happy Sunday lovies. I pray that you are in a good space today. Know that no matter what "it" looks like, the Creator has already made provision. Be encouraged. I've had to encourage myself over the last week, and in doing so, I've made the following observations:

• God is bigger than the church. God is bigger than ANY denomination. God is bigger than doctrine. God is not dogma. Get to know Him.

• I can show you better than I can tell you. Actions often speak much louder than words. Sometimes people do not comprehend simple words, even after they have been repeated. Do not continue to allow your voice to fall on deaf ears. SHOW and prove.

• Make provisions for lazy people. Provide as much intel as possible - links, directions, etc. Apparently Google has not been discovered by everyone.

• Cute for a cause resonates - have a purpose. CGNC has had an amazing response to the Breast Cancer Awareness products. Designing items with "think pink" in mind was natural, having a mother who is a survivor. I am very pleased the public has received them so well. Let's all do our part to stay engaged and informed and work to find cures for these diseases that affect so many of us.

xo

Lila

life lessons vol. I

Happy Sunday, sweet peas! I hope you are pursuing joy today!

I've had a few challenging weeks, so I'm taking a few minutes to reflect, do a bit of self analysis/evaluation of the activities I'm participating in, as well as the people I am exchanging energy with.

Here are a few of my observations - life lessons, if you will.

• First things first, I'm da realest. 

• There will be moments you feel utterly alone in a room/house/world full of people.  You're never alone, the Creator is ever present.

• We are made in the Creator's image, so we're all smokin hot! Celebrate all the good your body does for you and the universe.

• When you start walking in your purpose, EXPECT to walk alone (for a spell). Admiration, encouragement and support will come, just maybe not in the form or from the sources you would have imagined. Oh well. Some life lessons are tough, but build character.

• Life is too short for road rage. Seriously, if you don't feel and/or hear crashing, keep it pushing. That ding dong who cut you off just might have a real psychological issue. Ain't nobody got time for crazy in the street, k.

• Be present, and mindful. 

xo

Lila

as you think, so you are

I'm excited to share this blog from guest blogger, Tyrone Davis AKA Lifeaholik! Stay tuned for good good from him on all things #living! He is a super positive brotha with a mission to edify, encourage and inspire us to live this thing and "maximize life's positive possibilities" in every way including; fitness, active living and a healthy connection to the Creator - in whatever form that takes for you.

HELLO MY FRIEND! DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT? I MEAN, REALLY CONTEMPLATE YOUR THOUGHTS? YEP, ME TOO. DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOU START RUMINATING ON THOSE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NO POWER OR CONTROL OVER. THAT'S WASTED BRAIN POWER AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ENERGY. IT IS NATURAL TO THINK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR LIVES, BUT TO LET THOSE THOUGHTS CONSUME US IS SUPER UNHEALTHY FOR OUR MENTAL BEING, WHICH TRANSFERS TO OUR PHYSICAL BEING IN THE FORM OF STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION FATIGUE AND YES, PAIN. SO FOR TODAY I ENCOURAGE YOU TO BE HEALTHY IN YOUR MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT. A FEW THINGS THAT HELP ME WHEN I START SPIRALING; THE SERENITY PRAYER, YOGA, MEDITATION, EXERCISE, MUSIC AND MINDFULNESS. IF YOU AIN'T FAMILIAR WITH THESE THINGS, LET GOOGLE BE YOUR GUIDE! HOPE IT HELPS YOU ENJOY YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE. AND LASTLY, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT YOU THINK ABOUT AND THEN...STOP! BE AMAZING MY FRIEND.

#BEAMAZING! #LIFEAHOLIK

fall tv - in color!

Happy Sunday curvy curlies! I hope you have all had a great weekend. I'm pumped about the start of this week because some great new Fall TV programming will hit the screen and several shows star or feature women of color!

I don't recall ever seeing this many curlfriends on major networks in comedies AND dramas. I love that the naturalistas and curvy girls are representing.! Big ups the tv execs for figuring it out. And ladies, there's lots of eye candy for us to check out too, including that scrumptious Laz Alonzo.

Without further ado, here's my must watch list for the season;

• Gotham | FOX Mondays
• State of Affairs | NBC Mondays
• Real Husbands of Hollywood | BET Tuesdays
• The Mindy Project  | FOX Tuesdays
• Black-ish | ABC Wednesdays
• Red Band Society | FOX Wednesdays
• The Mysteries of Laura | NBC Wednesdays
• Scandal | ABC Thursdays
• How To Get Away With Murder | ABC Thursdays

keep on living, children

The older I get, the more evolved my thinking about certain things. And by evolved, I mean, I've broken several agreements forced upon me in my impressionable years.

As a seasoned woman, I care deeply about women's rights. I am tremendously concerned with elder care. I believe civil rights are due everyone. The go green initiatives are important to me. Domestic violence and the safety of children are causes I believe are worth fighting for.

Over the last several days, my social feeds have been flooded with opinions about women provoking men to violence and corporal punishment being a necessary form of discipline. Once upon a time, I shared these opinions, some in part, some wholly.

In a day where information (medical advice, statistics, etc.) is literally at our fingertips, there is no reason for us to accept the status quo. Why should we continue to do a thing, just because that's the way our parents and grandparents did it. Shouldn't we try to understand the WHY of some actions? My grandmother thought switches were a punishing tool because that's what she knew from her childhood. She learned that discipline from family who picked cotton in fields and were witness to unspeakable indignities. At what point do we stop the trauma?! Must we continue to pass it down from generation to generation? 

Too many of us are walking around with traumatic stress - not "post traumatic" and not "disorder" just traumatic stress. Our senses are fed trauma daily. Many of us are overworked. Lots of us are challenged financially. Terrorists threats are rampant. Those stressors, alone, can cause trauma to the psyche.

I want us to employ some different techniques for discipline and conflict resolution. We are living in a technology driven age where communication and education come in many forms. I know 3 year olds who can navigate tablets and smartphones. I do not subscribe to the notion that verbal communication is less effective than a spanking.

I encourage everyone to seek wisdom and with that, an understanding. My hope, is that as we continue to evolve and grow, so does our way of thinking. 

xo

Lila

delicious hidden treasure

Nappy Sunday curvy curlies! I hope the day is treating you well. I'm in a great space, having just wrapped an energizing and productive meeting with Shana Giles of The Glamour Life. We talked all things; women in business, networking and social media. 

Shana and I decided to meet at a place centrally located between us and happened upon a gem of a breakfast spot, in Marina Del Rey, called Cafe Buna. Cute spot with interesting artwork, amazing food, free wifi, great service AND owned by a curly girl!  

I first noticed a naturalista on the cover of the menu. Then, I saw a sista who was clearly running the show. I was too excited to meet Karen Ball, the owner of what looks to be a thriving LA eatery - if the line out the door is any indication! Karen was cool, professional and made an immediate recommendation to connect with other women in business on social. This networking thing is where it's at, folks.

Forgive me for not posting a photo of my meal, but I literally dove into my fig omelette before I remembering to snap! If you're ever in the Marina, or even if you aren't, you should find your way to Cafe Buna. You will not be disappointed. 

xo

Lila

motherland owns the runway

The Ankara Festival Los Angeles,  created by Peter "Lentini' Efezokhae, was pure fabulousness! Designers from Nigeria, Berkeley, Los Angeles and Bloomington brought their avant garde/afro chic, co-ed fashions to the Belasco Theatre, in downtown L.A.

Hosted by the crazy talented Yvonne Orji and Duain Richmond, this event was anything but your typical fashion show. There were performances by a fantastic international dance troop as well as Nigerian musical artists. And before the show began, vendors made available, baubles, bangles and clothing made from African textiles. 

I do not possess a vocabulary that can give the fashions their just due. Fortunately, my camera was right there on the front row with me and was all too willing to capture the awesome that strutted its stuff on the runway.

A special shout out to one of the show's co-producers, and a local Nigerian curvy curly, Dunnie Onasanya! Thank you for such a rich afternoon!

xo

Lila

headliner Evarize

Chidex Designs

Edentity Designs

Rosemary Mlekwa

Dewan Apparel

Nubi Collections

Ankara Fashions

hosts Yvonne & Duain cutting up

Christina Lowanga

Mahrima Suma of Sumahrie Collections (in black) & friend

the orchestra does black cinema. dope.

One of the gifts of adulthood is funners on a school night! Last night, under southern Cali's summer sky, thousands of music lovers gathered to celebrate The Black Movie Soundtrack. It was amazing!

Conceptualized by Reginald Hudlin, the Los Angeles Philharmonic blazed classic black cinema scores, while clips from films like; Carmen Jones, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner, Superfly, Boomerang and Sparkle played on the screens.

Guest artists, including, Anthony Hamilton, En Vogue, Bilal, Lalah Hathaway and Public Enemy blessed us with songs that are truly the soundtrack of my life. Anthony Hamilton slayed the theme to Shaft! Lalah kept the party going with Car Wash and Public Enemy had the Bowl turnt up with Fight The Power! 

One of the evening's most poignant moments was, a video of Whitney Houston singing I Will Always Love You, from The Bodyguard, while the orchestra accompanied her. It was a bittersweet and special treat.

I love living in a city that offers this kind of cultural experience. Summer nights at the Bowl are all the business. 

xo

Lila

fighting the power

photo cred: @pose4rose IG 

photo cred: Chanel Landreaux

queens in a trough

I have been trying to compose this blog for a few days. My original intent was to express my heartbreak about a recording artist (who shall remain nameless) stupid and/or arrogant and/or ignorant enough to tweet his imbecilic ideas on rape. Lord help us. I won't give that situation anymore energy - the networks are handling - quite appropriately. *sips tea*

I do feel compelled to spend a lil time on this here topic - these trashy, brain damaging, misogynistic "reality" television shows. 

Now, I won't front, I have been completely hooked on some of this foolishness, but this past Monday night, I pulled the plug. I watched Stebbie J and Hoseline (just writing em as I hear em) make (what looked to be drug induced) fools out of themselves in front of a bunch of people, cameras and the viewing audience. I actually cried watching the LHHATL reunion. Do ANY of these folks have loved ones who hold them accountable? And before you tell me, the only folks around are sycophants and hangers on, let me tell you, those few little dollars ain't gone last always. Fame is fleeting and so are fair weather friends. I wish these folks and their families could grab a hold of that. 

As a woman promoting love of self and each other, the self-hate displayed on that stage (and behind the scenes) vexed my spirit. For real, I had a soul ache, watching. The language and subject matter - he ate this and she sucked that. Really?! That's how we talk ladies? Then the hair pulling and kicking and screaming, WHY/HOW does this qualify as entertainment? The first time it happened, mmmk, it was shocking, but it has been done to death now. Wake up, people. These networks and producers are making a GANG of money off your buffoonery. Stop the exploitation! It's embarrassing and it's sad. I want better for us. WE have to want better for us. We have to do better for us.

xo

Lila

harlem in the la

This weekend marked the 6th anniversary of the Leimert Park Village African Art & Music Festival. In the center of Leimert Park; artists, entertainers and vendors from the community, gathered to celebrate the arts, listen to music and spoken word, and eat yummy treats. Co -produced by Amaechina Anyanwu, the festival creates a soulful binding and energy among its vendors and guests. One of the oldest, culturally rich neighborhoods, in Los Angeles, Leimert Park, is, in my opinion, the Harlem or Greenwich Village of Southern California.

I grew up in this community. I remember going to Dobson's for bubble gum. I attended Audubon Jr. High. My aunt and uncle still live on 11th avenue and I worshipped at a neighborhood church for more than 20 years. Bumping into old school mates and connecting with former choir members and friends, was priceless.

Saturday, I had the pleasure of a v.i.p. invitation to attend a panel on "LA's Love Affair with Natural Hair", featuring the natural hair community's own, Lydia Boyd of LA Curly Girls. It was a great interactive discussion about all things #naturalhair.

Another highlight was an excerpt from Supernatural The Play. This stage production explores the journey back to natural hair and the trials and triumphs along the way - a story I am all too familiar with. If you have the chance, please support and attend, it runs through the end of September.

The Leimert Park Village festival proved to be a fantastic way to spend a few days in the community fellowshipping with my folks and supporting black owned businesses. Let's work together to keep this historical gem a viable and thriving neighborhood.

xo

Lila

special shout out to Kyma Monai for my ear cuff!

music moves me

So, driving to work this morning, I was rocking out to my #curvygirlsncurls playlist on Spotify (y'all should check it out) and I noticed the driver next to me, in a full-on stare. What chu looking at?! You don't enjoy tunes in your vehicle? I don't get people who can't/don't loosen up when good music is heard. Have you no soul? Do you not feel that thang in your spirit? I guess not. *shrugs* It distresses me to watch an amazing performer, sing their face off to people in a venue who are too bound to give it up. Just sit there, legs crossed, hands in lap. What is that about? 

I've been at show after show, and showcase after showcase, in rooms full of people who claim to love music, but barely even clap a hand (unless directed to). Maybe it's the black church experience in me, but I cannot have my ears blessed with fab melodies and not bless the singer in return. I am guilty of clapping, giving shout outs and standing up during concerts. Actually, just yesterday, a "sAng boy!" escaped in the middle of a performance and one of my colleagues asked "are you screaming at him?" *eye roll* Hell yeah I'm screaming, can you hear him?!

I don't know, maybe I am over thinking it; I just believe music is medicine. It is a soothing, healing, transcendent balm and we should feel it and celebrate it anywhere. Everywhere. 

xo

Lila

booty therapy; c'est magnifique!

Hi curvy curlies! I trust you are Saturday happy, doing whatever it is you want to be doing. I am sitting on my couch resting my body, after a super fun night of exercising with a group of curlfriends. 

Last night, a few L.A. naturalistas met up, in the Athleta store at the Grove for a romp shaking good time, in the form of BOOTY THERAPY!

Booty Therapy is an inspired workout from Paris, France, that infuses African and Brazilian dances, combined with the rhythmic sounds of world music. The instructor is a remarkable curvy curly who believes, with booty therapy, you can “shake away all your worries.” Maimouna Coulibali encourages women to move their bodies in a way that celebrates the whole being and releases years of trauma we have carried internally. Too often, our natural, intuitive movement/being/energy is sexualized. Maimouna teaches her students to reject that distorted narrative and rock out the way our hips and booties are created to! I had a fantastic time and an even better workout. I walked away from booty therapy feeling beautiful, free and sexy. If you ever have the opportunity to experience this class, DO NOT pass it up!

xo

Lila

the art of active shut uppage

Everything does not require articulation. At least, that's what I've been told. Actually, I believe it, just haven't mastered the technique of biting my tongue in every situation. Let me give you some scenarios where activating a shut up in my spirit are challenging for me ...

When the honey (or anyone else) is driving, and clearly doesn't know the most direct/time efficient route to get us to our destination - my silence, in my opinion, is not advantageous to either of us. WHY should we not work together to manage our time? I've been told, there isn't a need for backseat or passenger seat driving. Check this out, there is when you're lost, and I'm riding with you. Amen.

An absolute rebuke to the art of shut uppage is when there is a need for help, either for self or ANYone else. If you see something, you say something. We cannot continue to live in a 'it's not my business' society. Use wisdom and get involved. You may save a life.

Now, here's where I believe shut ups should be switched on;

• Provocative/messy social postings. Let it go. Folks want to engage in public nonsense, let them. Do not argue with a fool, we won't be able to tell the two of you apart.

• That desire to be right about EVERYTHING. It ain't sexy. Had to learn how to just be quiet sometimes. I'm not suggesting we should dumb it down, but every conversation does not necessitate our spewing all the miscellaneous information our brain has stored on any given topic. HuRsh.

• That last word struggle. Folks, get a stand down AND a shut up in yo spirit. There is no need to put your period on the end of every conversation. It's exhausting - to everyone involved. Stahhhhp.

This list could continue on either side, however, I've decided to practice the art. Shutting up. Now. 

xo

Lila  

this messenger app can BEAT IT!

Dear Facebook,

Your constant manipulation and demands are running me (and my iPhone battery) all the way low. Whose idea was this silly messenger app business?! Why on earth would I want to download ANOTHER app for capabilities I ALREADY have. I have zero interest in your apps stealing any more of my data and memory life.

And furthermore, you do know that I can just text folks I want to share private messages with, right? How is the messenger more beneficial than just typing and hitting send with a functionality built into my phone. Duh?! Am I missing something, here? This is NOT a fresh, new idea. Hmph! I won't be falling for the banana in the tailpipe - again.

Sincerely,

Lila